Wednesday, April 29, 2009
mothering the mother
Mothers are so many things. Teachers, nurses, accountants, chefs, house cleaners, negotiators, interpreters, lovers, managers, the list goes on.....
We give so much in so many places every day, a Harvard Study showed that a stay at home mother does the equivalent of 2 full time jobs. What if you are also a work at home/stay at home mother? That means 3 full time jobs! I love my children, I love that I am home with them and can go for a hike up the mountain in the afternoon, or at home to care for them when they are sick. I feel so lucky to be able to have this opportunity.
I also love my work. I love supporting expecting and new families. What I do here with doula care, my classes, breastfeeding support is a passion for me. I follow a tradition of women in my family that have been supporting birthing families for a very long time.
But what happens when you want to be in two places at the same time? How do you give 100% to two different things? And at the end of the day after you have fed, bathed, cleaned, shopped, prepared, sent emails, worked....where is there time for us? We stretch ourselves so thin sometimes that it seems a luxury to have a shower on our own. Don't you ever wish for your mum to come and take care of you? Do your laundry, make you dinner, give you the space to go for a walk on your own? Maybe even take you out for lunch?
New mothers, experienced mothers, any mother, needs to be mothered just as she does for others. She needs compassion, a listening ear, an encouraging voice, a loving hug, a good meal on the table, clean underwear in her drawer, she needs someone to believe in her, to let her know that she is remarkable and so very loved. She needs to be reminded that she is valuable to the family. She needs time to draw or play in the garden, a nurturing environment, fun music to listen to. She needs to be held with compassion and forgiveness and have the space to blossom into her most amazing self.
Don't we do all of these things for our own children? We deserve it too.
Mother's day is on it's way....maybe it's a day for more than just flowers and pancakes.