Tuesday, July 29, 2008
So many of my days are filled with running around, where I'm actually running to, I'm not always sure. It seems that by dinner time most nights I look back on my day and it is a blur of grocery shopping, the ever elusive hunt for good organic farm eggs and picking up after my family. I am often exhausted, the kids are cranky and I feel like I have had a full day, but I don't really have anything to show for it (except a good meal on the table).
So today when I woke up to the rain, a sight I haven't seen for a while, I put on my cozy pants and sipped my coffee with the giddy permission to stay inside and have a quiet home day. As my little one slept, my older one rested in his room listening to a book on tape. And I, in my cozy pants glory, began to work on my very first quilt. Now, I'm no quilting master, but there is something amazing about being able to make something useful for my house. To bring it together piece by piece and see its unique beauty unfold before me. I had such a sense of satisfaction by 11:30 that the shower I took felt well earned.
The rest of the day was filled with reading stories, playing castles, eating lunch together (my other half eats with us too), watching my son play in the rain and mud and yes, a few chores and a healthy meal on the table. I didn't go anywhere today, I didn't buy anything, I just slowed down and was present, patient and willing with my kids. By dinnertime I wasn't exhausted, my kids weren't cranky and I feel like I have accomplished something today. Not only did I start a beautiful quilt, but I gave myself, and my kids the gift of just being present in the moment, having a conversation with my 4 year old over a cup of tea, watching my daughter giggle with joy on the rocking horse and just slowing down enough to have a quiet home day.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
My son is going through a tough time, which means so am I (at least in parenting him). After what felt like weeks without a break, I took the day off yesterday. The kids stayed with dad and I put myself on the greyhound to Victoria. I had a blissful day of wandering through Munroe's without having to give anyone a rice cake, visiting a friend in James Bay and getting a hair cut, one of my favorite things in the world. As my hairdresser was cutting my hair and talking about her discontent with life, I began to see my life's forest for it's trees. It's easy to forget how blessed we are when we are sleep deprived and running the hamster wheel of chores, groceries, laundry, dishes and back again.
As my hairdresser continued talking about how she wished she could settle down with someone, have a home she felt grounded in and a family to call her own, I realized that I have all those things and I am so blessed. I went to my favoirte place for lunch after, Rebar and had an amazing soba noodle salad, ice tea and chocolate cake all while reading a book that I have been trying to get to for weeks. It was bliss.
When it was time to get back on the greyhound, I felt so renewed, so blessed and ready to come home. We lose perspective so easily, we forget that our complaints sometimes are others desires. Sometimes we need to step away to see those trees in that beautiful forest that boarders our river, just down our very own street.
I bought a book for my son and it wasn't until I brought it home and read it to him that I realized it was all about being content with what you had....a great book for kids and adults.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
My daughter had her first birthday a couple of weeks ago. We celebrated a year survived, a year of adventure and a year of new beginnings. With this milestone in her life, I find myself reaching a new one in mine. It seems as though the first year fog has lifted and I am seeing things in a new way. I decided to go back to cloth diapers, be brave and purchase a bike (I live in town which is flat and have no reason most days to drive), to make more time to walk in the woods and to start a blog. So here it is the first post of many to come. I keep having these moments in the day, a moment where I learn something about myself as a woman, a wife, a mother, a mentor, experience something amazing or see the wonder of the world around me and it seems so big I can hardly breathe, and I want to share it, document it, remind myself not to forget it. This past year has been a daily lesson in surrender, releasing attachment to what I may think is ideal and learning to be present in the moment. This next year begins with a new bike, less ice cream and a new doula and mentoring practice here on the island. I remind myself that "What I dream, I will create" The possibilities are endless.