please listen

Listening is a skill that I think for many people is going the way of the Dodo bird, kind of like customer service (more on that another time). We are so busy with our own lives, thoughts and opinions that many people have lost the ability to really listen to one another. Haven't you ever been with someone, sharing what is going on in your life only to have them interrupt you with their own thoughts before you can even finish your own? How can we truly hear what the other has to say if we are already formulating our response while they are talking?

Ok, what does this have to do with birth and children? Everything. Listening is THE most important thing you can bring to pregnancy, birth and mothering next to your intuition. When we listen to our bodies, we know how to move in labour. When we listen to our hearts, we know what we truly need. When we listen to our babies and children (just because they are 6 doesn't mean that they don't need to be listened to as well), then we can really hear what they are trying to tell us. We have such a tendency to run to experts, books, courses, some other place to tell us what to do. How can we look for creative solutions if we do not first take the time to listen to what the problem is in the first place?

Our bodies and children are telling us things all the time. Our bodies and children want to been seen for who they are, for what they want to say, for what their experience is. When we ignore the messages or place our own ideas in place of theirs, they just get louder and louder until we finally listen to what they are saying. This often manifests in illness, tantruming children, labours when women feel unheard or relationships where we don't feel seen. We need to take the time to stop, to be still, to really hear what is being said. We need to acknowledge what the other, or ourselves is feeling and respond with love and gentleness.

Your body wants to be heard, your child wants to be heard, your partner wants to be heard, heck, we all want to be heard. So please, stop, and listen. It is such an amazing gift to give others and to yourself.

Thank you friend for your inspiration to write this post.

children deserve beauty

Christmas is less than two weeks away and I realize every year that tis' the season for plastic junk. We North Americans are addicted to plastic in our throwaway world and immerse our children in it. It is everywhere, but no where more prevalent than in toys. We have somehow come to believe as a culture that children are not worth giving good quality, beautiful things to. We buy them the cheapest of everything thinking "they are just kids, they are going to wreck it anyway." I have a different belief.

Children, like the rest of us not only appreciate beautiful things, they crave them. They can see the beauty in the smallest of things, a leaf falling from a tree, a bird on a branch, the way the light shines through watermelon on a sunny day. Their little souls seek out the beauty and mystery of life all around them. Beauty also tells them that the world is a good, safe place, a message they need so much when they are little. So why wouldn't we bring beauty in a conscious way into our homes to continue to nurture that impulse in them?

I was at Superstore last night and was overwhelmed by the plastic, crappy toys spilling over the isles. I know that most of that stuff will have a play life of about a week. Then the kids will get bored of it, pieces will be lost and mum fed up with stepping on little plastic pieces will throw it away. It's not beautiful, it doesn't feel good in the hand and it is not meant to last.

We talk so much about living green and reducing our consumption, but when it comes to children, we somehow think that not longer applies. So here is my thought. When we create beautiful spaces for our children and give them things that not only look good, but also feel good in the hands, they learn to appreciate and care for what they have. There is a soul connection to what they see and hold and the idea that we could just throw it away is no longer a possibility.

Now, I know that the natural toy business has exploded in the past few years and most of the things that are for sale can be really expensive. Somehow the idea of quality not quantity has gotten lost even in this well intentioned world. But it is up to us as parents to choose carefully what we give our children. Do we fill the tree with whatever it takes to make it look full? Or do we give a little less, but in actuality more because it is something truly lovely that doesn't need a bunch of other stuff around it?

Beauty doesn't need to cost much. A candle on the supper table, branches from outside on a nature table or homemade toys, all bring the qualities into the home that children love so much. My 6 year old son and I made this window star together last night. The pack of paper that we barely made a dent in only cost $5.95. We spent time together, created something really beautiful and when we were done, he said, "Let's save this for next year." This is the whole point. Create something to last, make it beautiful and subtly you teach them to cherish the world around them. Beauty speaks to their souls as it does to ours.

So this Christmas consider what you are buying for your children. Ask yourself, "Is this beautiful? Would I want to look at it or hold it? Is it destined for the landfill or will it stand the test of time?" All children deserve all the beauty that this world holds. Less really is more for them.

we all need a little love

I am not super mom. I have tried, believe me. Laundry, dishes, house, kids, work, meals, groceries, doctor's appointments, husband, garden, banking, nature time, book time, playtime....really, no me time. I am good at doing one or two things really well. 20 things, hmmm, not so much. But I try as best as I can each day because I love this little family of mine. I cook them beautiful suppers each night because I love the time we spend together at the end of the day eating a meal together. I make sure they have clean laundry in their drawers because I want them to know someone cares enough to make sure they don't have to wear their underwear inside out because there is nothing left that is clean. Everything I do here is out of love.

But sometimes I need some love too. My family is wonderful at saying thank you, for bringing me the occasional bunch of flowers, maybe if I'm lucky a small masterpiece of crayon imagery from my littles. For all of this, I am always grateful. But sometimes, I want someone to take care of me a little, the way I take care of others. Sometimes, I wish I had a wife.

This weekend my dreams came true. Friday our car was in the shop, I was spending the day getting ready for a party I was hosting the next day and taking care of the kids since there was a pro-d day. To say I was overwhelmed would be a grand understatement. And then it happened, the dryer smelled like fire. Immediately I rushed to turn it off and throw the breakers. With two loads of sopping wet laundry staring me in the face, I wanted to crawl into a hole.

And then the laundry fairy came. She took my laundry on Saturday, dried it, folded it, put it back in the basket and brought it to me with a magazine she knew I would love tucked in between the towels. This is a different kind of love then poetry and chocolates. This is the love that only another mother can understand, the kind of love that we all need a dose of once in a while. The kind of love that feels like someone cares about those little corners of your heart that only a domestically exhausted women could truly appreciate. Thank you friend.

We all need a little love sometimes, especially in the laundry pile.

Ruby Mamas

The Ruby Slipper Studio is finished and open! Classes start tonight and I couldn't be more excited. This was such a process and it took a village to complete. Nancy who painted the room, Andy who donated tools and his time to help Stefan put in the floor, Doug who did the drywall, Waterglass Studios who refurbished my original 1920's light fixture, Dave who did the finishing, Stefan who built my easels and Laurel who has been behind me the whole way.

So, now that I have my very own space, I am inspired to offer something I have been wanting to do for a long, long time. I am going to offer an art class for pregnant mamas....Ruby Mamas.

We spend so much time filling up our heads with information when we are venturing into the unknown world of birth and mothering, filling up our baskets hoping we will be prepared for the unknown. What we don't do is prepare our hearts and internal wisdom that we all possess. Information isn't what will help a woman when she is trying to cope with contractions nor is it what will support her when she is trying to figure out why her baby won't stop crying. It is her intuition every single time. That is what will be her survival skill in this journey ahead.

So on Monday October 18th, I am offering a one night workshop for those beautiful pregnant mamas in my community. You need bring nothing but yourself, an open heart and some comfy clothes. I will provide the space, art supplies and a wonderfully supportive environment where you can connect with your own creative resources, your baby and other mamas in the Cowichan Valley. You don't need to be an artist, this class is not about an outcome, it is all about the Process, just like labour. Dorothy had the answers within her the whole time as she journeyed to Oz, just as you do. Come and discover how wise you are and create art from the heart. The fee is only $25.00 and the experience will be priceless. You are most welcome here.

For more information or to register please contact Catherine at: 250-597-2770 or catherine@beautifulbirth.ca

learing to be still

I wrote about this a few months back. I thought that I had been doing it. Not so much. Still in some ways, constantly moving in others. The result? A continuous state of overwhelm, burn out and some days coloured blue. Why? Because in my ever moving mind, there is something that always needs to be done. And because there is something that always needs doing, I am always reminded that I can't keep up. Painting, laundry, birthday projects, cleaning, cooking, shopping, advertising, gardening, exercise.... oh the list goes on and on.

It wasn't until I spoke to my divinely wise friend who said "maybe you don't need to do those things right now, maybe you just need to be still" Hmmm, I thought, maybe I do. But how? And what would come out of it? More things that I am just getting behind on because I decided not to do them right now? No, not at all.

Our conversation continued on the vein of listening. I mean really listening. To ourselves, our bodies, our own wisdom, to our partners, friends and children. All of those facets are trying to send us a message, but how can we hear it if we can't be still enough to listen?

Then it came to me. We are all searching for an answer of some sort. Some questions are deep and meaningful, others more practical. We are all waiting to receive yet how can we if we can't first listen? And how can we listen if we can't first be still? Hmmm, very Zen of me I know. Sound as obvious as the sky is blue? Sure it does. Can you do it? Ahh, the deeper question, it's not as easy as it looks. I wanted to write this post as soon as I had this epiphany, but I forced myself not to, just to practice being still and allowing the idea to fully develop.

So the laundry, it's coming. The birthday project is on hold, the groceries got done today, but no one starved, the cleaning? I'm working on it. I feel more grounded, more able to listen and maybe one step closer to peace.

come on over...

There are exciting things underway for this mama. The Ruby Slipper Project is going to have a permanent home this fall. A new studio is underway and I couldn't be more excited. I have also started a new blog and invite you to come on over. Want to come to a class? There is a space for you. Do you think you are not an artist? Yes you are, you are creating every single day. The creative impulse is in all of us. This is a safe, fun, open place free of judgement and expectation. I'll even make you a cup of tea.

a new way

I have been teaching Birthing From Within classes for 5 years now. They are fun, informative, unique and honour all aspects of birth and parenting preparation. While I love this work and find it so rewarding there is one aspect about it that I love the most. That is the birth art. When most people hear the word "art" they can get a bit freaked out. So many of us hold stories about our ability or inabiltiy to create and can't understand why facing that fear has anything to do with birth preparation. The reality is that birth preparation is all about facing fears, discovering your own strength and experiencing moving through it. That being said, I often don't do as much art in my classes as I would like, somehow defaulting back to the information aspect that I don't really believe is as important as an exercise in self-discovery. I am always trying to strike a balance and let my own fears go.

I have a very dear friend and colleague however who has developed a whole new way of approaching birth preparation. She calls it the pregnancy circle and I think it is genius. She brings her background in counselling, mothering, Buddhist mediation and childbirth education and marries it into an on going class that I believe truly has the ability to change how we look at birth preparation and women as a whole.

Her classes begin when you are 3 months pregnant and continue up until birth. Each week women engage in soulful, meaningful discussion, meditation and art. Stages of labour and when to go to the hospital are left to someone else to teach. What she is doing here is truly preparing women in their own bodies and hearts for the journey they are about to embark on. If you live in California in the Ventura, Ojai, Santa Barbara or surrounding areas, I would HIGHLY recommend that you check out her class. You will experience something you won't get anywhere else and have the privilege of working with one of the most gifted women I know.

You can find out more about The Pregnancy Circle here.