You got time to lean...

I came home Sunday night from a really amazing weekend of teaching. This group was open, brave, full of laughter and even taught me a thing or two. It was one of those really special groups that you wish you could have every time.

Then on Monday morning I woke up sick, really sick. I haven't been that sick since I was pregnant with my daughter 3 years ago. I spent the day either clinging to the couch or the toilet, not good times. As I crawled upstairs to bed at dinner time I started thinking about all I have been trying to keep together over the past few weeks. It's not uncommon for me to get sick, just as it is all over, as though my body has given me permission to fall apart.

It's a reminder that I really need to let myself slow down on a regular basis so that I don't fall apart all at once. I was speaking with a very wise woman yesterday who suggested that I start taking some time during the day to sit outside and drink a cup of tea. Sounds simple doesn't it? I came up with lots of excuses why I couldn't. Then she reminded me why I needed to do it. I realized that for many years now I have been living into that old saying "You got time to lean? You got time to clean" It's not that I don't ever have a minute to myself, it's that I don't use that minute for myself.

So today instead of cleaning the kitchen, I took my beat up body back to bed to read a book while my daughter watched a show (horror of horrors!). Well, actually she loved it and so did I. So if you have a minute today, I recommend that you don't use that time to clean, use it for yourself. If you don't you might end up like me. Your body so tired of running that it gets sick so badly that you have no other choice to stop.

You are worth the gift of a cup of tea. Go put the kettle on....

quantity vs. quality

My summer wardrobe is seriously lacking. This is not a time of year that I tend to invest in and halfway through the season I always regret it. T-shirts with spit up stains, shorts with paint stains, dresses that don't fit anymore (even though I keep hoping they will), it's a bit of a motley crew, that wardrobe of mine. This is the first year in 4 years that I have not been pregnant or nursing and I feel that it is time to put myself back together again.

So my mom, God bless her, sent me a bit of money to go and buy myself some nice things for the summer. And then here came the conundrum....do I take that money and go and buy myself 6 or 7 things at a discount store or do I take that money and purchase a 2 or 3 really nice, good quality pieces? It is the eternal question of quality vs. quantity. So yesterday I perused the stores, looking for sales and places I could spend my money. There were some cute things that would be fine for the season, but one close look and I knew that's all they would make it through. By September they would either be donation material or headed into the landfill. There is nothing that bugs me more right now than things that are designed to last for a short period of time so that we will go and buy more, it just isn't right.

So today I went to my most favourite store in the world (I really do mean that) It is called Lil' Sweet Nancy's and they have two locations in Victoria BC. What makes this place so special you ask? Well beyond their wonderful, relaxed atmosphere that my daughter is also welcome to be in and their superior, honest service, the clothes are just lovely. I have been buying one of these brands for the past 10 years and not only do the clothes last and last, they are always designed with the next season in mind. So today I bought a few really lovely things, some will be just for summer and others I will definitely wear into the fall. The best thing is that by next year at this time, I know they will look just as good as they do today and won't be heading for the landfill at all.

If you live on Vancouver Island it is worth your time and your money to go and visit. And if you don't live on Vancouver Island, but close by, I would highly recommend a day trip over here. Lil' Sweet Nancy's and Sweet Nancy's is one of those rare places that really cares about their customers and offers amazing service whether you are buying one nice dress or a whole wardrobe. This is also a place where you don't have to be a size 2 to fit into the clothes, which for this curvy mama is a godsend. Not to mention, the store owner is also a mum, so she totally understands what I need when I'm buying clothes.

We talk a lot about self-care as mothers and for me, how I get dressed in the morning is part of that. So for this girl, quality will always trump quantity. And now I can be part of the summer without a map of spit up stains on my shirts.

P.S.

I normally don't do reviews on products or stores and was not paid to write this. I just really love this place and wanted to share. You can find them here. Happy shopping!

mother's day

Ah, Mother's day. I love it. We went to Victoria for the day on Saturday and visited some of my favorite places. Murchie's for lunch, tea and treats, a tradition since I was a kid. Then to Munroe's for an amazing book that I am already devouring. And after that? Husband takes the kids for an hour so I can go and shop on my own, bliss. It was also a day where a courageous woman walked all the way down the island to bring awareness to our threatened Wild Salmon stocks. We took the kids to the very peaceful protest and while they didn't understand why we were there, it felt right to be there as a family.



On Sunday, actual mother's day, a long walk by the river with the family, more time on my own while husband took care of everything, some much needed bras (I'll write more about that later) and a carpet picnic.

Life after kids can really change things and we can either fight it or adapt. It's not always easy for my husband and I to get out on a date together, alone. So on Mother's Day he made a super yummy dinner, that was not for the kids (they ate earlier and went to bed) and we had a date on a blanket upstairs in our room. We had music, candles, wine and most importantly, peace. There was no one to complain that the dinner was "too yucky, to big, didn't like it, too smelly...." Where my perfect eaters went to, I have no idea. Anyways, it was bliss.

It was a really lovely weekend and a really lovely day. I hope you had a wonderful day too!

Since I don't have anything riveting to write about (before and after pics of the kitchen are coming soon), I thought I'd share some recent photos of our life. Hanging out at home, a trip to Fisgard Lighthouse, May fest, and crab hunting at Transfer beach.

I received a touching phone call today from a mum who is so sleep deprived with her newborn, she's not sure what to do next. That post is on it's way soon....

writers block

Well, it's hit me. Writers block. I have lots of things I would like to write about but fail to have the mental capacity to put anything into an interesting post worth reading. It's been a flurry of kitchen reno's, school decisions (yes, we finally made one) and a tantruming two year old. Every time I sit down to write something meaningful, my thought is interrupted by something, be it laundry, children, pot of water boiling over on stove, what have you. So, I'm taking a bit of a blogging break until this fog I am in lifts and I have something more meaningful to offer.

The kitchen looks amazing by the way. A lick of paint and some new light fixtures can bring forth a miracle.

walk a mile in my shoes

I was the best parent in the world, before I had children. I knew why children turned out the way they did, how to get a child to sleep through the night, how long a child should breastfeed and I certainly was an expert on discipline. Then I had children.

I woke up this morning to the familiar screaming of my two children, one bugging the other. I dove deeper under the covers hoping I could disappear into some other world where children woke up singing and played quietly until I was ready to descend the stairs for my morning coffee. No such luck. I managed to doze for a half-hour between the crying and giggles (the girl can be a bit dramatic) all until my son came upstairs with a handful of his sisters hair and a pair of scissors. Need I say more?

I dream that there are mothers out there that take every challenge with stride, never loosing their cool, never dreaming of a Martini at noon. I wish I were that mother. I am that mother some of the time. This past week, not so much. Spring break and kitchen reno's have created a bit of a perfect storm where I am equally pulled between wanting to be present with my children and also finishing the painting that can't seem to wait until bedtime. It is hard for me to ignore my kids so that I can finish a job and it is equally hard to ignore the job so that I can be with the kids. I eventually gave up during the day and saved the work until night, but I am so tired.

What really gets me in times like these is people who don't have children who are so quick to judge with their all knowing responses for repair. They are experts in child rearing and know just how to fix the problem. Everything is in absolutes and so simple. Just take them for a walk. I already did that. Spend time with them. I am spending time with them. Then the blank look of realisation that all of their tricks are not fail proof.

The truth is, there really is no magic answer, no magic craft project, no magic story time. Having kids is hard. Having two kids is a million times harder. It can be rewarding, joyful, filled with moments of overflowing love for those two little ones you feel so blessed to have brought into the world. I often feel like this when I see them sleeping. I feel like this lots of times through the day too. But mothering can also be lonely, isolating, frustrating, maddening and bring you to tears. "Are you crying mummy?" "Liam, Why is mummy crying?" I couldn't speak through the tears, I just walked to the garage to get their bikes and helmets, wiped the tears away, took a breath and took them for a long river walk.

So the next time you think you have the answers or feel that you are an expert on someone else's children (even if you have ones of your own), Stop. Walk a mile in her shoes before you speak, you might find you get blisters just like she does.

still

I've been a bit uninspired to post lately. Maybe its because I have gone through a huge process in deciding which school my son will go to, maybe it's because I've been trying to be a more present mum and just don't go on the computer as much or maybe it's because I have so much to say, I just don't know where to begin.

Whatever the case I feel like I need some time to be still. I need to be still with my family, with my work and especially with myself. So I have chosen to sign up for a 3 month study group and allow myself to take some time to focus inward and get clear on which step to take next. It feels good to stop and pause, to see all that is around me and know that just because it is there, I don't have to dive into it right away. It's kind of like being on this beach. The waves are crashing against the shore, the coastline feels rugged and wild and yet, when I took this photo, I sat down on the sand and just took it all in. The ocean is funny that way, there is something inherently calming and humbling about it. And while you may want to dive in, sitting down and just being with it is also perfectly acceptable.